Where are you my beloved?
Locked in a prison of my mind.
Why can't you understand how much I love you?
A whirlwind of guilt, shame, drama.
Do you hear me?
Logical fallacies dancing around like marionettes.
Why can't you see the real me?
Vision blinded by images from the past.
Belonging neither here nor there.
Constant questions.
Constant chaos.
Moments of happiness sprinkled in a few places among the pain.
Monsters in my home, monsters in my head.
Craving intimacy but contradictions.
I see myself, I see myself suffering.
Always looking inward never looking upward.
Yes, I see you but you must understand that I see myself too.
Yes, I love you but I can't chase you.
Self care is not selfish.
I must be true to myself.
I will not drag you down to the pits of hell with me.
Existence, survival, but no life.
Forever grateful for the smallest blessings.
At times feeling cursed until I remember I'm insignificant.
"I've got some imperfections but how can you collect them & throw them in my face?"
I'm here, but I will no longer wait.
Belief in Him but no belief in myself.
Trust no one, not even myself.
No sleep, but my soul is tired.
Constant battle everyday.
The truth will scare you anyway.
Conscience insanity.
Happy with others but not myself.
What is peace?
Limitless limitations.
Trying to embrace myself.
Perfect flaws.
Misunderstandings without doubt.
Unheard screams.
Silence is deafening.
Broken beyond repair.
Unworthy.
Lost innocence.
Connection lost.
Feelings illogical.
Always outside looking in.
Ugly inside & out.
Waste of time.
Feelings stuffed down back over again.
Freedom!
Break the ties that bind.
Don't care!
Fight!
Your truth, my truth.
Still human.
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